


Vath and Isamot Are Idiots (And Maybe One Day They'll Get Over It)

by dytabytes



Category: DCU, DCU - Comicverse, Green Lantern - Fandom, Green Lantern Corps (Comic)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-10
Updated: 2010-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-07 21:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dytabytes/pseuds/dytabytes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But we hope they don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vath and Isamot Are Idiots (And Maybe One Day They'll Get Over It)

"Isamot."

"Nnrg."

"Wake _up_ lizard."

"Rrrrrr sleep more."

"_Isamot_."

"Ugh. _What_?"

"Where are my pants."

"Dunno. On your legs?"

"If they were would I be asking?"

"How am I s'pposed to know? You're pretty stupid sometimes."

"Ch. Just get your ass off the floor and help me look already."

"Hsssss. Waking me up before I'm read- _augh_. The light! Turn off the sun!"

"Hey, you're the one who dragged me to that bar on the edge of nowhere to go drinking until god knows when."

"Of course I did! We just survived one of the freakiest natural disasters of the century! That's something worth celebrating!"

"We survived, sure, but not everyone did."

"Oh, so you'd rather we just sit around and mope about all the deaths we couldn't prevent, rather than celebrate the ones we did?"

"Well when you put it that way... yes."

"Good thing you got paired with me, bud, otherwise you'd be sunk in a pit of angst past your armpits."

"Hmph. There were other things to be doing for clean up-"

"And other lanterns will take care of them. Hell, we'll surely be going back if they don't get it done within the next cycle. Salaak's an obsessive freak about that kind of thing."

"So in the meanwhile we'll just be drinking until we can't find a bar with a happy hour special?"

"Heh. One of the good things about space: it's always happy hour somewhere."

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure we found it at least a half dozen times in this sub-sector alone."

"You can't deny that you enjoyed that- whatever that pink bubbly thing was that they gave us on the edge of sector 1512. "

"Mmn."

"Oh come now. It fizzed _all the way down_."

"And then it fizzed all the way back up too."

"I wouldn't know. I'm not the one who can't hold his intoxicants."

"No, you're just the one who can't handle the hangover in the morning."

"Hey, I'm not hung over."

"You're sure acting like it."

"Hungover means headachey and tired and groggy and other things that my ring's having trouble translating, right?"

"That's the general idea."

"Yeah, Lizarkon don't do that. I'm just having issues un-dialating my pupils. Got my eyes stuck in dark mode."

"That's normal?"

"Runs in the family and on that note, would it kill you to dim the lights? There's pain flashing all the way from my snout to the tip of my tail."

"Suck it up princess. I need to see to search."

"Why'd I have to get the most heartless partner ever?"

"God, if you're gonna whine like a bratling, put these on. "

"Huh. Snazzy. Never knew constructs could block light."

"Gardner does these all the time."

"I guess. Heh. Maybe I should wear sunglasses more often."

"Only if you wanna look like some sort of idiot."

"Well I'm not the one who can't find his goddamn pants."

"Like you've never lost yours before."

"Nope. I don't wear 'em. The ring light's all I need."

"Yeah, didn't need to know that."

"Well now you do. Aren't you lucky?'

"Unlucky, maybe."

"What is it with you warm-blood and clothing anyway? It's not like you need the insulation."

"Doesn't feel right to be waltzing around in the buff. Not safe."

"Pff, like a thin layer of cloth is going to protect you from anything more dangerous than a bit of fluff."

"It's a thing, okay?"

"Sure, a thing. I gotcha. You Rannians have the weirdest _things_."

"Look, it just doesn't feel right to be going out into battle without pants!"

"If you say so! I'm not saying anything!"

"No, you just gave me that look and flicked your tail like you do when you see a rookie trip over his own feet."

"I just don't get why the pants are so important to you!"

"A man without a weapon's a brawler and a man without a plan's impulsive, but a man without _pants_ is just plain stupid."

"... And you aren't?"

"Shaddup."

"You know you love me– Oh hey, looks like they're in the fishbowl."

"Huh. So they are."

"Didn't know we even had fish here."

"Think one of the rookies brought 'em in. Reminds her of home or somethin'."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"... They look good."

"Yeah, they're sorta pretty aren't they?"

"No, I mean, good enough to _eat_."

"You'd eat those?"

"That's what I just said, didn't I?"

"What, raw?"

"_Live_. I like it when they wiggle."

"You're disgusting."

"I'm a reptile."

"I noticed."

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to do that."

"What, figure out that you're a heathen savage without a speck of taste?"

"Hey, you're just as bad as me, partner."

"At least I cook my food before I eat it."

"So you burn your meat before you eat it. Waste of time and good meat if you ask me."

"Tell me that _after_ you eat a properly roasted haunch. The cafeteria on Oa's good with some things, but when it comes to proper Rannian cooking, they're pretty damn bad."

"Well, you gotta try everything once, I guess. We'd better be hitting some more bars, though. I wanna get more of that pink stuff. Mm, fizz."

"If you're gonna bitch, I guess we'll have to."

"Damn straight."

"Whatever. I'm just glad I can finally get my pants o-"

"Heh."

"Hell."

"So do pants count as pants if there's a hole in the rear big enough for my tail to fit through?"

"Just shut the hell up and help me look for new pants, lizard."


End file.
